Pregnancy Journey up to Week 20 Part 2

April 4, 2011 - High Risk Appointment #1


Completed the 1st screen, to include measuring of the baby and blood work. Discussed all the testing with a Genetic Counselor including an Amnio. Told them we will do all the non-evasive testing but WILL NOT be doing an Amnio! The outcome would not sway us to do anything with the pregnancy.

Doc does not foresee any issues with pregnancy but since I am predisposed to Gestational Diabetes and Preeclampsia, they will be keeping a close eye on me. Also, because we have a niece that was born with two holes in her heart, as well as one of the meds I was on during the first trimester, the baby is at higher risk for having a heart defect. An in depth study of the heart will be done at next appointment. Results of the 1st screen will be back in a week. Baby's heart rate was 169bpm. Next appointment: June 6th, 8:30am

Not a great ultrasound pic but here is the little one at 12 weeks 5 days:

April 11, 2011:  RESULTS OF 1ST SCREEN

Downs Syndrome: Starting risk based on age - 1 in 117 chance. Risk after testing - 1 in 1003 chance
Trisomy 13 and 18: Starting risk based on age - 1 in 215 chance. Risk after testing - 1 in 4300 chance

Next screening will be done at the June 6th appointment.
 
April 25, 2011: 16 week OB appointment


HR OB requested my cervix be checked by my regular OB to make sure there are no issues, based on my history not anything they saw. Cervix measured over 3mm...I think that is what he said. He said it looked great and he didn't see any issues. A recheck of the cervix will be done in 2 weeks.

The baby was very active during the ultrasound. It was moving around so much that the Nurse Midwife had a hard time catching up long enough to measure the heartbeat. After the little game of catch the heartbeat measured in at 164 Didn't find out if we are team pink or blue yet We have to wait until my next HR appointment on June 6th. Oh, and no new pics of my butterfly.

I have officially been taken off of Metformin until after my 2 hour Glucose tolerance test. I will do that in 2 weeks. Also did blood work to test for CF and Neural Tube defects.

May 10, 2011 OB visit for recheck of Cervix - 17w 6days


Saw a different provider for this visit. He was an actually Dr. not a NP/Midwife. He asked why my cervix had been checked the last visit and why I was there so soon after my last appointment. I let him know that my HR doc had requested a Cervical check. Told him that my NP/Midwife had said everything looked great when he checked two weeks ago but had me set up the recheck. Dr. said he wasn't going to recheck. Told me if I had bleeding, cramping or loss of fluid for me to call and then they would check again. He said he felt that there was no reason to "wand me" unless I was having trouble. He did do a quick ultrasound to check the baby's heartbeat and said everything looked great. HB was in the 150s.

He set my next OB appointment 3 weeks out, right before I go to my next HR appointment.

May 23, 2011: Unexpected ER Visit 19w5d

Went to the ER for fever, body aches and severe lower stomach/lower back pain. I spent several hours in the ER. To cover all bases they checked for early preeclampsia. All lab work came back great. Baby's heart rate was 174 They diagnosed me with a bad sinus infection however they sent me to Labor and Delivery as a precaution since I was having the pain in my lower back and abdomen.

I was taken very good care of in L&D. They found the baby's heart beat after a lot of searching...some of the nurses were in training Heart rate was 172 They hooked me up to the monitor to see if my pains were contractions. They determined I was not. The doc on call came in and did an u/s to check my cervix, which were fine and then they sent me home. They reassured me that since this is my first baby that it was most likely my round ligaments stretching and that it was absolutely normal.

Before I left L&D the head nurse came in and went over my instructions for going home. Mostly common sense stuff and things I already knew. She told me the baby was very active while they were checking the heart rate and even when they did the ultrasound you could see the baby's head and a hand just moving like crazy. She said it was very reassuring and for me to try to relax and try not worry too much about having to come up there.

I am feeling much better now. I have been resting a lot the past two days and haven't had much pain to speak of. They suggested I start wearing a support belt so I have one ordered

May 31, 2011: 2 hour Glucose Tolerance Test after being off Metformin for a month. Results on June 2nd at OB appointment.


Next OB appointment Thursday, June 2nd.  Next HR OB appointment AND Gender Scan on Monday, June 6th!

So that is where we are now! 

Pregnancy Journey up to Week 20 Part 1

January 31, 2011: Conceived naturally after miscarriage in Dec. 2010 and 5 1/2 years of treatment with an RE.

February 1, 2011: confirmed with BETA 72.52. Started Progesterone supplements. POAS once again, just to make sure :-)

February 2, 2011: POAS a final time just because I couldn't believe it was real! The lines just kept getting darker!

February 3, 2011: 2nd BETA 163.57


February 7, 2011: 3rd  BETA 1100


February 11, 2011: 4th BETA 3855

February 15, 2011: 5th BETA 12,068. Had first ultrasound and got to see our little butterfly but it was too early to be able to measure to find out how far along I was.  Was actually 5w6d at this point.

February 23, 2011: 6th BETA 41,217. First OB appointment. Everything went great. Will be referred to Sacred Heart Hospital in Pensacola, FL to the High Risk Dr. Had another ultrasound. Finally able to measure baby.....7 weeks! Heart rate was 145bpm Official due date October 12, 2011

March 30, 2011: 12 weeks exactly. 2nd OB appointment. Baby measured in at 12 weeks 3 days. Heart rate was 171bpm. Baby was very active during the ultrasound. While showing us the top of the baby's head it kept moving side to side. When I asked if that was the baby moving the midwife said it was cause he had the ultrasound wand still. We got to see all the important stuff....the spine, the brain, the arms and hands and even a little foot!

How we ended up 21 weeks Pregnant

Let me start by saying that I never thought I would be writing a blog like this.  I thought I was destined to be childless forever, or at least childless meaning "not of my body".  One way or the other I always knew I would be a mommy, but I truly had started coming to the realization that it might be through adoption. So for this to truly be happening is surreal!  So here goes Part 1 of how we ended up expecting again so quickly after our miscarriage....and I promise there will be no x-rated parts!

When I miscarried in December I was completely devastated.  Not only was finding out I was pregnant a shock after so many years of trying with medical help but just as it was finally sinking in my worst fear came to be....I lost the child I was carrying, my first child.  After the first few weeks of mourning and being sad I started looking for some support locally to help me through what I was feeling.  DH did not understand what I was going through and even though I have friends that had experienced a loss I needed someone to talk to.  In the course of trying to find a support group I was put in contact with someone from our base.  There is a program for new parents and the nurses actually follow you through pregnancy and then up until your child is 3 years old.  I was told that even though my pregnancy had ended that they were still there for me and the nurse made an appointment to come out to visit me in early January.

Nurse E was very caring and listened to my concerns about needing someone to talk to.  She even gave me some information regarding Miscarriage that no one had even given me to that point except for the Family and Airman Readiness Center when I stopped in and they got me in contact with her.  I explained to her that even the smallest bit of information about what was going on with my body would have been helpful weeks before when I was actually going through it all, physically.  On my own I had ordered several books on dealing with miscarriage to help me through this time but there was something still missing.  She suggested counseling or the support group that I was already looking for information on.  Both things I had already thought of and was in the process of getting started.

Before she left Nurse E made a comment, and to this day I will forever be in her debt for telling me this.  DISCLAIMER: Please do not take this as something that everyone should do, however based on my history she, as a nurse felt comfortable telling me this.  Nurse E asked me how long the clinic told me we needed to wait before trying to conceive again.  I told her that they had said we could resume relations after 2 or 3 weeks but needed to wait for at least 3 months before actively TTCing, so my body had time to heal.  She then proceeded to share with me that based on how far along I was when I miscarried, my history of infertility issues and my age that we shouldn't wait the 3 months they told us to.  She said that my body didn't have much healing to do because I wasn't very far along and that I would be most fertile right after my miscarriage.  Even the information she gave me on miscarriage said the same thing. 

When my DH came home I told him about the conversation with Nurse E.  We talked about it and agreed that if it happened it was meant to be, if it didn't we would continue on as we had before, working with a fertility doc.  In the coming weeks I started the process with the clinic to get our referral to the Fertility doc I wanted to work with in the area and my DH and I resumed physical relations, not preventing but not actively trying.  I also started going to therapy.

At one of my therapy appointments at the end of January, I was discussing with my Counselor that I still had not had a cycle since my miscarriage approximately 6 weeks prior.  We discussed how that made me feel and she suggested that I take a home pregnancy test and then call my doctor afterward and talk with them about what to do to get my cycles going again.  This way at least I would know where I stood where my body was concerned.  I went home totally not expecting a positive pregnancy test. 

When I got home I POAS and then left it in the bathroom and went to do something else.  I went back a little while later and got the shock of my life!  There on the EPT was a very faint but very clear + sign!  I started freaking out.  I grabbed a digital and dipped it in and then began the agonizing wait to see what it would say.  It confirmed what the first one had shown.  I was pregnant!  I called my mom in hysterics.  After calming down some I tried to call my DH but he was in the classroom teaching and I couldn't reach him.  I sent him a text and waited for him to call me back. 

While I was waiting I went through all the possible reasons the tests could have come out positive.  One was that the pregnancy hormone from the miscarriage was still lingering but I knew that wasn't right because I had done betas for 2 weeks after the miscarriage until it had gone down to zero. Then I started thinking about when we had "done it".  Being the infertility guru that I am, I had kept up with everything for 5 1/2 years, especially when we BD'd even when we weren't doing a medicated cycle and of course this time I hadn't written a damn thing down!  WHAT?  I couldn't believe it!  From my calculations however, if I was really pregnant I wasn't even what would be considered 14dpo. I was barely pregnant, if there really is such a thing!

After talking with my DH and the shock wore off...well kinda.  We knew based on the previous pregnancy that I was going to have to go in immediately so that I could get put on Progesterone.  So I called the clinic the next morning and I began the process of getting into see the OB at the big base.  My mom drove over and went with me that day because DH was once again in the classroom and couldn't get out of it.  I went and had the blood test done at the little base and then headed to the big base, which I knew would be the next step.

Once the pregnancy was confirmed I went to the OB clinic at the big base and began the paperwork.  Boy was the one nurse surprised to see me so quickly.  She said she felt like the test might be a false positive and that she thought it was just left over hormones from the miscarriage.  I reminded her that I had tested down to zero on that.  She agreed that yes I had.  She filled me in on what I needed to do next.  I requested that they check my progesterone and that in the mean time I would like a script for Progesterone.  She went to talk to the doc about it.  When she came back she told me that the Doc said they could have the results in 2 days and once it was back he would write the script if my blood work warranted it.  I reminded her that my Progesterone was low last time and was what likely was the cause of my miscarriage.  She said that two days wouldn't make a difference cause I was probably so early in the pregnancy.  I felt at that point that if she didn't think 2 days would hurt that I could wait 2 days.

So I headed down to the lab, where they proceeded to tell me it would be a week to 10 days before they got the results.  I knew at that point that I had to do something.  Since I promised my DH I wouldn't do anything to get him in trouble, I decided to go to the patient advocate.  I explained to the PA exactly why I was there to see her and that I was not leaving the clinic until I had a script.  I told her I was not going to jeopardize my unborn child's life, yet again, just because they don't have my history in hand regarding my low progesterone, and that my miscarriage 6 weeks earlier and the results of the Progesterone test from then should be proof enough.  She agreed and began the process of getting me what I needed.  I left the clinic that day with a script in hand and even though I had a nurse really ticked off at me, I got what I needed regardless of others feelings. 

As a backup plan however, I had called my infertility doc in B'ham and asked if they could help me out.  The next day I received a call back that they were calling me in a script for Endometrin and that it would last through the first trimester.  Thank God for them because if they hadn't come through I would have had to wait at the whim of the doc on base!  At this point the next hurdle was determining exactly when I was due.  Until they could determine that for sure they went of my miscarriage date.

The rest of the story to catch you up to week 21 is to follow in a timeline of sorts and info on all my doc appointments......including pics.  Happy reading!

Catching up....with some very good news!

Well, once again, time got away with me.  I know that isn't an excuse but hey, life happens right?  So I hope those of you who read my blog will forgive me for being a bad blogger yet again.  I do have good news to share though.  Part of my blogging decline was because of this reason.  I just knew that I could not keep up blogging without spilling the beans!

After 5 years 5 months and our one Angel baby, I am happy to announce that WE ARE PREGNANT!!!!!  Here is the big surprise though.  As of tomorrow I will be 21 weeks along.  Please don't send a lynch mob out after me for not sharing this sooner.  I was going to announce at 13 weeks, but that week I had to go out of town and then when I got back to where I could blog and share my news, my friend's son, Caleb, passed away.  It just didn't seem like the right time to share then so I was going to wait a couple weeks but that turned into 6....so here we are at 21 weeks and counting.

To catch everyone up I have been kinda "blogging" in private to keep up with everything.  My plan is over the next couple of days to post these blogs so that everyone can see how things have been progressing with my pregnancy.  I even have wonderful pictures to share! 

So far I feel great!  My due date is October 12, 2011.  I am seeing a high risk doc because of my age....I was told at my first appointment that they no longer use the term "Geriatric", they instead use the term, "Advance Maternal Age".  Well, either way, it means your OLD to be having a child! I might be old in the medical world for this, but I welcome everything I am experiencing!  We find out on June 2nd what we are having...that is if the baby will cooperate.  It is hard to believe that in a little over 4 months I will be a mommy!  It is a long awaited dream come true!

Anyway, stop by tomorrow and I will share our "Pregnancy" story!  Trusting in God's will has gotten us this far and man, did he really answer a prayer!!!

My Joys and Sorrows Part 2

So December 17th was the happiest day of my life to date...or should have been.  I finally had a little miracle nestled in my body, peacefully growing.  DH and I decided that we would tell our family on Christmas Day about our little surprise and we decided how we were going to do it. For my mom I found a candle holder that said Grandmother, for my dad we got a bib that said "I love Grandpa" and for my DSS we were going to get a t-shirt airbrushed that said "I'm The Big Brother"....kinda hard to find an adult extra large that says that. For my in-laws we were thinking of ways to call them and tell them.  The weekend went fine and come Monday I went back to work at the daycare where I sub some. Monday night I started having some light brown spotting, with a few little flecks of red, but it wasn't heavy and I wasn't cramping.  Everything I read said that this was normal in the first few weeks of pregnancy.

Tuesday, December 21st, I was still spotting some so I called the nurse and she said it was normal but to try to take it easy.  I told my boss and I took it easy the rest of the day.  Sat as much as I could, didn't lift anything or any kids.  I did as little as possible.  I left work and by the time I got home to my mom and dads...where I was staying....the spotting was worse and I was starting to cramp some.  My DH was already on his way over so we could tell my parents and his son.  Then we were going to call the doc and see what we needed to do. 

We got to my parent's house at the same time.  We went in and gave my mom and dad and my DSS their "early Christmas gifts".  This was not how I wanted to tell them...I wanted to tell them on Christmas day and let them know that everything was fine.  My dad was the first one to figure it out I think.  It took my mom seeing the bib to actually register what her gift meant and my DSS just grinned cause he is 15 and has wanted this for the last 7 years. After the excitement of the news we had to let them know that they didn't need to be too excited because I was spotting and cramping and that is why we went ahead and told them cause I might have to go to the ER. 

I then called the on call doc and the nurse practitioner on duty told me to go on into the ER due to my history of infertility. Before we left the house I was actually starting to bleed, not just spot, but it still wasn't bad.  They checked me in pretty quickly.  The nurses and the doc were really nice.  They listened as we explained our history of infertility and how we got to this miraculous pregnancy.  We also talked about the RH factor and how my DH and I are opposite blood types and how I have wondered about a couple of my cycles in the past and how I thought maybe they had been miscarriages but they were never confirmed.  I got sent off for an ultrasound, which was painfully and made me bleed more cause it irritated my cervix....but I also think it helped bring on the miscarriage also, if that makes sense.  Before the ultrasound I wasn't cramping much at all and bleeding very little and after it all went down hill.  Anyway, they came and took blood, gave me a pain pill and I just waited on the doc to come back.  He came back and told me basically what in my heart I already knew.  There was no sac visible in the ultrasound which meant I was either not as far along as I thought I was or it was a non-viable pregnancy.  My HCG numbers were really low for where they should have been at 7w2d also, they were at 3 week levels. So he gave me the option of being admitted or going home and checking with my doc the next day and having my HCG checked again.  He also gave me the option of getting my shot of Rhogam that night or waiting until I saw my doc. I told him we would just go home and follow up with my doc the next day on both accounts.

When I got up to get dressed I was bleeding heavily and I knew it was over.  The nurse got me a pad and I went in the bathroom across the hall and cleaned up and got dressed.  I didn't cry until I got back to the room with DH.  I told him it was over for sure, I just knew it was.  As we were leaving the hospital I saw someone I have known since childhood out in the waiting room.  She was someone I never expected to see there, but was an odd source of comfort at that very moment.  She asked what was wrong and I told her.  She hugged me and told me it would be ok and that she would pray for me. She let me cry on her shoulder and that meant more than she will ever know. 

We drove back to my mom and dad's house.  The whole way I felt numb. When we got back there we got ready to bring me back home.  I went to the bathroom before leaving and realized that I had passed a large mass of tissue.  I don't know how else to describe it and I'm sorry if that is too graphic for anyone reading this. It wasn't a clot.  All I could do was look at it and think, "Is this my baby that I'm about to flush down the toilet?".  I got so upset, but with my parents and stepson in the next room I couldn't do what I wanted to do that was scream!  I tried to get DH to look and see what he thought but he wouldn't look, so I said a prayer and that was that.  I flushed my child down the toilet like you flush a dead fish....or at least that is how I feel about it!  I HATE THAT I HAD TO DO THAT!!!!!!  I'm SAD that I had to do that!  It breaks my heart.

Anyway, the next day I went into see the nurse.  They rechecked my HCG level, it had gone down to 368 from 1170 the night before, and they gave me the shot of Rhogam to help in case there was any blood exchange with this pregnancy.  I have to go back once a week until my HCG level is below 5.  They didn't say anything about a DNC or how long I would bleed or how long it would take for my body to complete the miscarriage.  I feel a little lost and uneducated where that is concerned.  They also didn't tell me if I need to have an exam a few weeks after the miscarriage but things I have read online say that I should.  So I have lots to ask tomorrow when I talk to the nurse.  I went today for my follow-up HCG but will find out the result tomorrow. 

Emotionally I am doing ok.  I will heal but it will take time.  I have to mourn and grieve for my child, because even though I only knew about him or her for a few days it was still a part of me and my DH.  Christmas was hard for me because it was supposed to be such a day of happiness when we shared our little miracle with all of our family and friends that have been on this Infertility Journey with us.  Everyone keeps telling me to look at the bright side, at least I know I can get pregnant now.  I know that is a positive, but it doesn't give me my baby back.

My Joys and Sorrows Part 1

I am going to have to do this in a couple of parts because I know I will never be able to catch up all my thoughts and my goings on in one sit down and blog session.  Too much has happened, so I'll do what I can tonight and then do the rest tomorrow...or should I say, later today. 

Two weeks before Thanksgiving my DH and I closed on our first home and one week before Thanksgiving moved in.  With the help of my wonderful mother I was able to host a small group of people from DH's class on base for Thanksgiving, since they didn't have anywhere else to go.  I was happy to help and enjoyed the day immensely!  Slowly but surely our house is coming together and we are settling in. Finally I am feeling settled and I feel like I am "Home".

During this time however I have really dreaded the end of the year.  Thanksgiving means that Christmas is not far behind and then the New year which means another year has started with me not being a mother.  My self imposed pity party started fairly early....reference my two previous posts.  I just dread the end of the year because I look back and think, "What have I accomplished?  NOTHING!"

With the end of this year came not only my self pity and depressing thoughts of how I wasn't a mother yet, but two baby showers....one of which I found out at the last minute wasn't just for one person, but was for 3 people!  Yep, 3 pregnant people at the same time and I was expected to go and put on a happy face and enjoy myself!  Oh and did I mention that I was supposed to make the cake for this baby shower?  I volunteered to make the cake when it was supposed to be for just the one person I knew, then they threw in the other 2 people and didn't even bother to offer to pay me for the cake....hmmm, how rude!  This was preceded by a shower for a close friend of mine who told me last May that they were thinking about trying to get pregnant again and she got pregnant the first time out.  I love her to death but envy her more than she will ever know.  I just couldn't go to her shower either, no matter how hard I tried.  My heart and mind couldn't stand up to the task or the test of going.  I felt very guilty but I had to do it as a self preservation tactic.

In the midst of all this I continued to think of how depressing it was that another Christmas was coming and I wasn't expecting or I didn't have a child.  My DH and I actually started talking about looking into Foster care and adoption after the first of the year.  I had even found a little girl who is 6 who needs a home that we were considering fostering and/or adopting possibly. 

But then on December 17th we got thrown a curve ball.  For a couple of weeks I had been thinking my cycle was going to start.  My breasts had been a little tender and I had spotted some, but AF never showed.  Something just told me to POAS so I did and SURPRISE!  I got a BFP!!!  The first one I have ever gotten!!  I was in total shock.  The plus sign popped up very quickly.  I stared at it in disbelief!  I thought to myself...I have a digital.  Gotta get the digital.  So I got up, got it and tested again.  That was the longest 30 seconds of my life but the word I longed to see show up did, "Pregnant".  I broke out into hysterics.  My DH thought I was having a panic attack and rushed into the bathroom.  I just shoved both tests in his face.  He looks at them and says, "Well, how did that happen?"  LOL  How did it happen?  Really?  That is all you can ask?  We have not worked with a doc since February or March really and it happens naturally when we least expect it.  Next thing DH says is, "Well, I guess you really have to get a job now." Not what you really want to hear after trying to get pregnant for 5 years.  If I could have killed him right then and there I would have.  That hurt me more than he will ever know.  The total joy of the moment left me and I felt sadness that I was carrying this child inside me.  HOW COULD I BE SAD??????  BUT I WAS!!!  AND I FELT HORRIBLE ALL BECAUSE OF MY INSENSITIVE HUSBAND!!!!!  What the hell was I supposed to feel now?!

I called the clinic and found out what I was supposed to do, then I called my cousin because I needed to talk to someone.  The rest of the day was surreal and happened almost in slow motion.  It should have been a day of joy and happiness yet I couldn't be happy because all I could think about was what my DH had said about me getting a job.  We eventually talked about it and he apologized for saying what he did but the damage was already done.  Can't take back the moment of finding out you are expecting your first child and how you react to it.  wish you could but you can't.  Anyway, we managed to find some happiness and we were cautiously optimistic about the pregnancy after it was confirmed and we were given the EDD of Aug. 7, 2011.  However our joy was short lived.....