Well, once again, time got away with me. I know that isn't an excuse but hey, life happens right? So I hope those of you who read my blog will forgive me for being a bad blogger yet again. I do have good news to share though. Part of my blogging decline was because of this reason. I just knew that I could not keep up blogging without spilling the beans!
After 5 years 5 months and our one Angel baby, I am happy to announce that WE ARE PREGNANT!!!!! Here is the big surprise though. As of tomorrow I will be 21 weeks along. Please don't send a lynch mob out after me for not sharing this sooner. I was going to announce at 13 weeks, but that week I had to go out of town and then when I got back to where I could blog and share my news, my friend's son, Caleb, passed away. It just didn't seem like the right time to share then so I was going to wait a couple weeks but that turned into 6....so here we are at 21 weeks and counting.
To catch everyone up I have been kinda "blogging" in private to keep up with everything. My plan is over the next couple of days to post these blogs so that everyone can see how things have been progressing with my pregnancy. I even have wonderful pictures to share!
So far I feel great! My due date is October 12, 2011. I am seeing a high risk doc because of my age....I was told at my first appointment that they no longer use the term "Geriatric", they instead use the term, "Advance Maternal Age". Well, either way, it means your OLD to be having a child! I might be old in the medical world for this, but I welcome everything I am experiencing! We find out on June 2nd what we are having...that is if the baby will cooperate. It is hard to believe that in a little over 4 months I will be a mommy! It is a long awaited dream come true!
Anyway, stop by tomorrow and I will share our "Pregnancy" story! Trusting in God's will has gotten us this far and man, did he really answer a prayer!!!
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
PRAYERS FOR CALEB
I know I have been a terrible blogger these past two months, and I assure you I have an excellent reason, which I was going to share with you today. However there is something that takes precedence over that. A friend who I met on a wonderful site for women who have been TTCing for more than a year NEEDS EVERYONE'S PRAYERS!!!!
Karen has struggled with infertility for a long time, like many of us. She has endured several miscarriage, like a lot of us. She and her husband were finally blessed with a beautiful baby boy this past November via IVF. His name is Caleb. The family is in the process of moving from Australia back to Canada and Karen and Caleb went ahead to find a place to live.
Yesterday, she requested prayer for little Caleb who is only 4 1/2 months old. Apparently he stopped breathing and was rushed to the Children's Hospital where they are. He is on life support and it was determined that he has severe swelling on his brain. The doctors have said that there is nothing they can do to save this sweet little baby. Karen is waiting for her husband to fly from Australia to Canada to be with them before they take Caleb off of life support.
So I am asking that whoever is out there and reads this....PLEASE PRAY FOR THIS FAMILY!!! They endured so much to have this little miracle and they so need a BIG MIRACLE right now! The picture below is sweet little Caleb. There is also a link to the Facebook group that has been set up for Caleb and his family! Please join the group if you would like to. It is an open group so pass it along! Thanks for your thoughts and prayers! I know this family will appreciate them!
Karen has struggled with infertility for a long time, like many of us. She has endured several miscarriage, like a lot of us. She and her husband were finally blessed with a beautiful baby boy this past November via IVF. His name is Caleb. The family is in the process of moving from Australia back to Canada and Karen and Caleb went ahead to find a place to live.
Yesterday, she requested prayer for little Caleb who is only 4 1/2 months old. Apparently he stopped breathing and was rushed to the Children's Hospital where they are. He is on life support and it was determined that he has severe swelling on his brain. The doctors have said that there is nothing they can do to save this sweet little baby. Karen is waiting for her husband to fly from Australia to Canada to be with them before they take Caleb off of life support.
So I am asking that whoever is out there and reads this....PLEASE PRAY FOR THIS FAMILY!!! They endured so much to have this little miracle and they so need a BIG MIRACLE right now! The picture below is sweet little Caleb. There is also a link to the Facebook group that has been set up for Caleb and his family! Please join the group if you would like to. It is an open group so pass it along! Thanks for your thoughts and prayers! I know this family will appreciate them!
Little Caleb only 4 1/2 months old
************************************************************************************
Sorry for the lateness of this update, but baby Caleb was pronouned brain dead shortly after this post. He now rests in the hands of our Lord and Savior. His daddy was able to make it to the hospital before they took him off lifesupport. The family also decided to give the gift of life to other children in need and donated his organs.....so Caleb lives on in the lives of the children he helped because of this tragedy. Please remember this family as they heal and find a way to move on with life after such a tragic and unthinkable loss. Thanks
Friday, March 18, 2011
Life as I know it....aka the past month!
Sorry for being gone so long, but well, LIFE HAPPENS, right? Such is my life. I sometimes fill in as a sub at my friend's day care. Last month she had an employee leave and she needed me to work until she could hire someone new and get them trained, so that is where I have been! After working all day with babies or 3 and 4 year olds, I barely have enough energy to eat dinner, let alone get on the computer. On top of that I have been sick twice in the last month as well. Once with a stomach flu that I caught from one of the babies and now I am fighting to get over a really bad cold, which the docs thought was RSV for a little while.....
also caught from the babies :) Gotta just love daycare! So needless to say, I have been slacking on my blog, but that isn't the only thing! I started having FB withdrawals!!! Is that crazy or what? But I am back and hopefully will get back to a regular routine, if I ever even had one, of blogging.
The good thing about being so busy is that my mind hasn't been fixated on the loss of my Angel Baby. I think of my Angel just about everyday, but I don't obsess and lose myself in thoughts of the "what might have beens" as much anymore. Today though, I have been thinking of my Angel. I realized earlier this week that if I hadn't lost the baby, I would be almost 20 weeks right now. I might even have known by now if it was a boy or girl. But God must have needed my Angel more than I did. I try to think of the positives like, I know I was blessed to have had my Angel even for a short time. I know that I will have a child someday and most importantly, I KNOW GOD HAS A PLAN FOR ME!!! So I continue to have HOPE and FAITH!
I do have some exciting news I can share today. One of my oldest and dearest friends (we met on the 1st day of 1st grade) is 18 weeks pregnant. Much like me, she had trouble getting pregnant when they finally decided to start trying. A and her DH had not done as much as my DH and I had as far as ART treatments, but had begun getting all of their ducks in a row to move to ART treatments. I am so excited to follow my friend through her pregnancy and can't wait to be called "Aunt Tasha" !!! A bittersweet note....she and I would have been due 11 days apart if my Angel had not been called home to Heaven.
So that is a little of what has been going on with me while I was MIA. The weather here in Florida is beautiful right now and I hope to spend a lot of time outside here very soon. Plans for this weekend include getting my rose bush planted in Memory of our Angel! So lots to look forward to and enjoy this weekend. I hope everyone, where ever you are, enjoys the weekend that lies ahead!
also caught from the babies :) Gotta just love daycare! So needless to say, I have been slacking on my blog, but that isn't the only thing! I started having FB withdrawals!!! Is that crazy or what? But I am back and hopefully will get back to a regular routine, if I ever even had one, of blogging.
The good thing about being so busy is that my mind hasn't been fixated on the loss of my Angel Baby. I think of my Angel just about everyday, but I don't obsess and lose myself in thoughts of the "what might have beens" as much anymore. Today though, I have been thinking of my Angel. I realized earlier this week that if I hadn't lost the baby, I would be almost 20 weeks right now. I might even have known by now if it was a boy or girl. But God must have needed my Angel more than I did. I try to think of the positives like, I know I was blessed to have had my Angel even for a short time. I know that I will have a child someday and most importantly, I KNOW GOD HAS A PLAN FOR ME!!! So I continue to have HOPE and FAITH!
I do have some exciting news I can share today. One of my oldest and dearest friends (we met on the 1st day of 1st grade) is 18 weeks pregnant. Much like me, she had trouble getting pregnant when they finally decided to start trying. A and her DH had not done as much as my DH and I had as far as ART treatments, but had begun getting all of their ducks in a row to move to ART treatments. I am so excited to follow my friend through her pregnancy and can't wait to be called "Aunt Tasha" !!! A bittersweet note....she and I would have been due 11 days apart if my Angel had not been called home to Heaven.
So that is a little of what has been going on with me while I was MIA. The weather here in Florida is beautiful right now and I hope to spend a lot of time outside here very soon. Plans for this weekend include getting my rose bush planted in Memory of our Angel! So lots to look forward to and enjoy this weekend. I hope everyone, where ever you are, enjoys the weekend that lies ahead!
Friday, February 4, 2011
Thankful Thursday...but on Friday instead
I have been fighting a really bad headache for a couple of weeks now and had intended to post this yesterday. But since I wasn't home for much of the day and my head was about to explode, I'm going to do it today instead.
I am so Thankful that I was blessed with a little miracle, even if that miracle is now in Heaven. So today I give Thanks for my miracle!!! This week marked six weeks since my Angel baby grew wings. Most of the books I have read said to put a memory box together of things from the pregnancy and the time of the miscarriage. Things I DON'T have to put in this box are an ultrasound picture or a picture of me while expecting. Some of the books also suggested buying something for that pregnancy, something that would be for that child, even though that child isn't with you anymore. We will also be planting a rose bush soon in memory of the baby. As far as "naming" the child I lost, I did give my angel a name, Noel. I chose that name because I miscarried so close to Christmas. Would I have name this child that if I had carried him or her to term, probably not, but at least I have honored this child with a name. My DH doesn't know that I have done this...but for me I needed to do it.
Anyway, I have done what the books suggested. Here are a few things I do have in my little box of memories from my first pregnancy that gave me my Angel Baby.
I am so Thankful that I was blessed with a little miracle, even if that miracle is now in Heaven. So today I give Thanks for my miracle!!! This week marked six weeks since my Angel baby grew wings. Most of the books I have read said to put a memory box together of things from the pregnancy and the time of the miscarriage. Things I DON'T have to put in this box are an ultrasound picture or a picture of me while expecting. Some of the books also suggested buying something for that pregnancy, something that would be for that child, even though that child isn't with you anymore. We will also be planting a rose bush soon in memory of the baby. As far as "naming" the child I lost, I did give my angel a name, Noel. I chose that name because I miscarried so close to Christmas. Would I have name this child that if I had carried him or her to term, probably not, but at least I have honored this child with a name. My DH doesn't know that I have done this...but for me I needed to do it.
Anyway, I have done what the books suggested. Here are a few things I do have in my little box of memories from my first pregnancy that gave me my Angel Baby.
A picture of my home pregnancy tests showing the happy news on Dec. 17th.
A picture of the "Thinking of You" flowers from my friend JoAnn and her hubby
This is the Angel Baby Healing Stone that I got from here . I actually won it from their FB page. It is a Miscarriage and Infant Loss Memorial Stone. I just love it.
Another picture of my Angel Memorial stone.
This is my Blessing Blanket that I got from here .The blanket is very small, just like the tiny blessing who grew wings. The blanket is the baby's gift to Mommy and Daddy to "hold on to, cry into, cling to.. to remember I am not alone - I am warm and safe and loved. It comes with a lovely poem.
Other than the pictures of the items above, I don't have much else to remember this pregnancy by. I have a couple of cards sent by friends and I copied some of the messages that were sent to me online. I have my appointment sheet from the clinic for when I should have had my appointments. And then I have the paperwork from the ER regarding the miscarriage. All the books say to keep these things, for healing purposes, so that is what I'm going to do. At least when I feel the need I can take the box out and remember my little blessing. And I can be Thankful for each thing I have to help me remember!
Friday, January 28, 2011
BLOG NAME CHANGE
Ok....so I have been playing around with this for a while and I really do love my blog name, "A Journey is Worth a Thousand Words. Infertility and Life after 35!" However I see all these cute and witty blog names out there and think, " I can come up with something like that!" So from hence forth I will be called:
Journey of a Geriatric Infertile Lady
The reason I chose this name is because those of us who enter pregnancy after the age of 35 are considered to be "Geriatric Pregnancies" So that is how I came up with the name. Hope you guys like it...that is if I have anyone out there readying this :)
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Dirty Dishes, Bad Moods and an ER Visit
Dirty Dishes:
Is it just me, or does anyone else out there have a DH who loads the dishwasher and then thinks the kitchen is clean, even when the pots and pans are still dirty, the stove and counters needs to be wiped off? Who knows, maybe I have the only man out there that will actually attempt cleaning the kitchen. Here is my problem:
Why is it that when a man cleans the kitchen it is totally acceptable for him to just load the dishwasher and leave everything else, but when you clean the kitchen they expect you to do everything? Case in point, my DH. A few days ago he loaded the dishwasher but left all the pots and pans and a few other dishes. Don't him I said this, but the man knows how to pack a car but doesn't know the first thing about loading a dishwasher to get the maximum results! Anyway, he asked me if I would wash the pots and pans. At that point I had been nursing a headache for about 5 days but told him I would get around to it. Since I don't work I had all the next day to do it but had my therapy appointment and by the time I got home my head was hurting so bad I laid down and never got around to getting them washed. DH cooked dinner that night and added another pan to the stack on the stove and made no attempt to clean anything himself. Next day, I go to the doctor, get the results from my pregnancy blood work, have my emotional breakdown, feel like crap cause I still have this horrible headache which has been with me for a week now, and I don't get the dishes washed up. DH comes home, makes dinner, adds two more pots and a pan to the stack which has now spilled over to the counter beside the stove. Still he doesn't wash them.
At this point ALL of our pots and pans are dirty! Dishes in the dishwasher are clean but still sitting there and the sink is full of dirty dishes. Does he take it upon himself to help me out when I'm not feeling good and clean the kitchen? NO! Instead he gets pissed off at me and starts yelling at me about how I need to get up off the couch and clean the kitchen. So I tell him I would except my head feels like it is going to explode and I don't feel like doing it right then and before he comes home the next day it will be done. Then I said, "If you are so worried about the dishes getting washed why don't you do it yourself?" and he says, "Because you said you were going to do it and I already cleaned the kitchen this week." Umph! Well, la te da! So yesterday, I cleaned the kitchen, the whole while moaning and groaning about him the whole time. I unloaded and loaded the dishwasher, washed all the pots and pans, and wiped down the stove and counters. Guess how long it took me? 30 minutes. My head felt like a time bomb waiting to explode but I did it and you know what? HE DIDN'T SAY A WORD ABOUT IT WHEN HE GOT HOME! Go figure!
So am I the only one in the world with a husband like this?
Bad Moods and ER Visit:
Now on to the bad mood and ER visit. So DH came home yesterday and informs me he is exhausted cause he only slept 3 hours the night before. Not my fault you stayed up late watching TV. What happened to the guy who used to say he could live on 4 or 5 hours sleep? Guess being over 40 now he can't do that! Anyway, we eat dinner and watch a little TV. Not once did DH ask how I was feeling or if my headache was better. It has slowly been getting worse all day long. In fact I had started having some dizziness and blurred vision with the sharp pains that I get every once in a while. So I'm sitting there and about 8:00pm I tell DH that I think I need to go to the ER cause this headache has gotten so intense that the meds aren't even taking the edge off anymore. He flips totally out. Starts yelling, "I can't believe it. You wait until now? I got 3 hours of sleep and you tell me now you want to go to the ER? I was about to go to bed? Unbelievable!" He storms off and I hear, "Well, let's go then" and a crash in the bedroom as something hits the wall.
I told him never mind, I would have my mom drive over and meet me at the hospital so he can sleep and he insists no, he will be the one to take me and stay with me. I told him if he was going to be in a pissy mood I would rather him stay home. Never once on the way to the ER did he ask what exactly was wrong, how I was feeling or if I needed anything. Where was my loving and attentive guy that was with me in the ER 5 weeks ago? Apparently, that guy was in a bad mood for a couple of reasons: #1 Because I was supposed to take our car in this week to have some work done on it before we hit our warranty mileage and it wasn't getting done in the time HE thought it should AND #2 He was going to miss one of his favorite TV shows (I just know this is one of the reasons he was upset!). I think him being tired was just an excuse!
We pulled into the hospital and he didn't even drop me off. He parked and made me walk up to the building, by myself none the less cause he was still so PO'd that he wouldn't walk beside me. I got checked in and we sat there waiting. He sat all closed off, not offering any type of comfort or show of concern for me at all. I kept asking if he wanted me to call my mom to come and he said no. Finally by the time I got called back into an actual room he had gotten better and was a little more concerned. After 4 hours, 1 CT Scan, 4 vials of blood, and 1 IV of good Pain meds later, they sent me home with a prescription FOR THE SAME MEDS THAT I ALREADY HAD THAT I TOLD THEM WEREN'T WORKING!!!!!!! I guess the good thing is that my CT Scan and blood work all came back fine. Bad news is...I STILL HAVE A HEADACHE :(
On a better note, the DH was in a better mood and really took care of me when we got home from the hospital. Gave me my meds and got me in bed.....he even went and got the car and picked me up at the door when we left the hospital! He told me not to worry about the car, that we would get it taken in at some point. He even turned off my alarm this morning so I could sleep as long as I needed to. Note...he never apologized, but saying what he did was his way of apologizing.
Is it just me, or does anyone else out there have a DH who loads the dishwasher and then thinks the kitchen is clean, even when the pots and pans are still dirty, the stove and counters needs to be wiped off? Who knows, maybe I have the only man out there that will actually attempt cleaning the kitchen. Here is my problem:
Why is it that when a man cleans the kitchen it is totally acceptable for him to just load the dishwasher and leave everything else, but when you clean the kitchen they expect you to do everything? Case in point, my DH. A few days ago he loaded the dishwasher but left all the pots and pans and a few other dishes. Don't him I said this, but the man knows how to pack a car but doesn't know the first thing about loading a dishwasher to get the maximum results! Anyway, he asked me if I would wash the pots and pans. At that point I had been nursing a headache for about 5 days but told him I would get around to it. Since I don't work I had all the next day to do it but had my therapy appointment and by the time I got home my head was hurting so bad I laid down and never got around to getting them washed. DH cooked dinner that night and added another pan to the stack on the stove and made no attempt to clean anything himself. Next day, I go to the doctor, get the results from my pregnancy blood work, have my emotional breakdown, feel like crap cause I still have this horrible headache which has been with me for a week now, and I don't get the dishes washed up. DH comes home, makes dinner, adds two more pots and a pan to the stack which has now spilled over to the counter beside the stove. Still he doesn't wash them.
At this point ALL of our pots and pans are dirty! Dishes in the dishwasher are clean but still sitting there and the sink is full of dirty dishes. Does he take it upon himself to help me out when I'm not feeling good and clean the kitchen? NO! Instead he gets pissed off at me and starts yelling at me about how I need to get up off the couch and clean the kitchen. So I tell him I would except my head feels like it is going to explode and I don't feel like doing it right then and before he comes home the next day it will be done. Then I said, "If you are so worried about the dishes getting washed why don't you do it yourself?" and he says, "Because you said you were going to do it and I already cleaned the kitchen this week." Umph! Well, la te da! So yesterday, I cleaned the kitchen, the whole while moaning and groaning about him the whole time. I unloaded and loaded the dishwasher, washed all the pots and pans, and wiped down the stove and counters. Guess how long it took me? 30 minutes. My head felt like a time bomb waiting to explode but I did it and you know what? HE DIDN'T SAY A WORD ABOUT IT WHEN HE GOT HOME! Go figure!
So am I the only one in the world with a husband like this?
Bad Moods and ER Visit:
Now on to the bad mood and ER visit. So DH came home yesterday and informs me he is exhausted cause he only slept 3 hours the night before. Not my fault you stayed up late watching TV. What happened to the guy who used to say he could live on 4 or 5 hours sleep? Guess being over 40 now he can't do that! Anyway, we eat dinner and watch a little TV. Not once did DH ask how I was feeling or if my headache was better. It has slowly been getting worse all day long. In fact I had started having some dizziness and blurred vision with the sharp pains that I get every once in a while. So I'm sitting there and about 8:00pm I tell DH that I think I need to go to the ER cause this headache has gotten so intense that the meds aren't even taking the edge off anymore. He flips totally out. Starts yelling, "I can't believe it. You wait until now? I got 3 hours of sleep and you tell me now you want to go to the ER? I was about to go to bed? Unbelievable!" He storms off and I hear, "Well, let's go then" and a crash in the bedroom as something hits the wall.
I told him never mind, I would have my mom drive over and meet me at the hospital so he can sleep and he insists no, he will be the one to take me and stay with me. I told him if he was going to be in a pissy mood I would rather him stay home. Never once on the way to the ER did he ask what exactly was wrong, how I was feeling or if I needed anything. Where was my loving and attentive guy that was with me in the ER 5 weeks ago? Apparently, that guy was in a bad mood for a couple of reasons: #1 Because I was supposed to take our car in this week to have some work done on it before we hit our warranty mileage and it wasn't getting done in the time HE thought it should AND #2 He was going to miss one of his favorite TV shows (I just know this is one of the reasons he was upset!). I think him being tired was just an excuse!
We pulled into the hospital and he didn't even drop me off. He parked and made me walk up to the building, by myself none the less cause he was still so PO'd that he wouldn't walk beside me. I got checked in and we sat there waiting. He sat all closed off, not offering any type of comfort or show of concern for me at all. I kept asking if he wanted me to call my mom to come and he said no. Finally by the time I got called back into an actual room he had gotten better and was a little more concerned. After 4 hours, 1 CT Scan, 4 vials of blood, and 1 IV of good Pain meds later, they sent me home with a prescription FOR THE SAME MEDS THAT I ALREADY HAD THAT I TOLD THEM WEREN'T WORKING!!!!!!! I guess the good thing is that my CT Scan and blood work all came back fine. Bad news is...I STILL HAVE A HEADACHE :(
On a better note, the DH was in a better mood and really took care of me when we got home from the hospital. Gave me my meds and got me in bed.....he even went and got the car and picked me up at the door when we left the hospital! He told me not to worry about the car, that we would get it taken in at some point. He even turned off my alarm this morning so I could sleep as long as I needed to. Note...he never apologized, but saying what he did was his way of apologizing.
International Babylost Mother's Day and Father's Day
For those of us who are on the TTC journey and have had a pregnancy loss and don't already have children, Mother's Day and Father's Day can be especially hard. We know that we are parents in our hearts but sometimes the world doesn't recognize that because there are no tangible children there. So yesterday while searching the web and looking at blogs...and I'm still not really sure how I came across it, maybe on Facebook...I came across this site and it's sister or should I say "brother" site. I think it is a great idea and one that should be passed along in the ALI world....I think I got that abbreviation right :D Anyway, pass this along to as many people as you know. This year's International Babylost Mother's Day is May 1st. Let's see if we can start a movement!!!! Websites are below and the buttons can be found on the right of my blog.
International Babylost Mother's Day
International Babylost Father's Day
International Babylost Mother's Day
International Babylost Father's Day
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