Friday, December 5, 2008

Time sure flies

Well, here I am again.....taking months to post another blog. Not much has changed in the Fertility front. We have an appointment with our doc on December 17th. I don't know what will happen but hopefully we will try at least another month or two on pills before we move to injections. I'm still working on the weight loss but that has pretty much come to a stand still. I don't know why if I want a child so badly I just can't get myself in gear and lose some would think having a child would be the motivation that I need! I am very much "Self Sabotaging" in that way. As my hubby so smartly discovered and then pointed out, as long as i don't lose the weight I at least have "it" to blame for not being able to TTC. BUT if I lose weight and I still don't get pregnant then there is only one thing to blame....well, not a thing, but "ME"!!! He truly hit the nail on the head with that one. You would think going to school to be a counselor would keep me from having these issues, but I do! Sometimes it makes me second guess my career direction because of all the trouble I'm having. UGH!! What do I do???!!!

So anyway, life goes on and as we fastly approach our one year mark of working with our new RE I have to try to keep my chin up in regards to our TTCing....I figured by now I would be expecting yet here we are again at another Christmas with no little one of our own. Please pray for me as I struggle with this during the holidays. I really don't feel like celebrating and dread trying to put on a cheerful happy face...but that is one thing I'm very good at. I'll bring out my "Christmas Facade" very soon for every one's sake but my own.

Anyway, time keeps chugging along. It has been a year since my MIL passed away. We have had a very somber week here at the house. Yesterday was a year ago that we buried her. Steve and his sibs have talked several times this week and my MIL's best friend/cousin sent us flowers on Monday to let us know she was thinking about us. That was very hard but it was sweet of her to think of us.

Sorry I don't want to bring everyone down. I'm just having a pity party tonight. I do hope everyone has a great holiday. Merry Christmas and Happy New year! May the new year bring everyone wonderful things.