What If ....A video from an Infertility Advocate

Here is a video from an Infertility Advocate called "What If".  There are many "What If's" in the world of Infertility.  I will throw my own what if in....what if I lose the weight I need to and I still don't get pregnant.  What if I keep trying to get pregnant and then when we decide it is time to move on to adoption they tell me I'm too old?  I could go on and on.....



What IF? A Portrait of Infertility from Keiko Zoll on Vimeo.

What We Would Give to Be Moms

So when I lived in Montgomery, I visited two different infertility support groups.  I thought they would help but I never felt very comfortable going.  It just wasn't like expected. I really enjoyed the ladies that were a part of the group but maybe at the time I wasn't really ready to take on my infertility as much as I thought I was.  I don't know.  Anyway, I still keep up with many of the ladies and get prayer requests from them via email.  Today I got an email from one of the groups.  There is a think going around Facebook about Mothers.  People post it in their status.  Here it is......

"To all the unselfish moms out there who traded eyeliner for dark circles, salon haircuts for pony tails, long showers for quick showers, late nights for early mornings, designer bags for diaper bags, and wouldn't change a thing. Lets see how many moms post this. Moms who don't care about whatever they gave up and instead LOVE what they got in return. Post this if you love your life as a Mother."

For those of us who struggle to become moms, reading this can be hard.  We would give anything for this simple paragraph to pertain to us.....but for so many of us it still doesn't.  So one of the ladies of the Infertility support group came up with her own version of this in honor of those of us who still struggle on our path to Motherhood.  Here is her version......

"To all the heartbroken women out there who traded flat stomachs for bruised and bloated ones, romantic nights with their husbands for costly inseminations, designer bags for a refrigerator full of medicine, healthy bodies for headaches and hot flashes, their privacy for a chance at adoption, and wouldn’t change a thing… because every one of these trade offs is a CHANCE at Motherhood. Woman who don’t care about whatever they gave up and instead risk everything for the hope of something wonderful in return. Post THIS if you’d do anything to become a Mother."

This version was too long to post in my status on Facebook plus me being a Plus Size Mommy-in-Waiting, the "flat stomach for bruised and bloated ones" just didn't fit for me either so I took A's version and tweaked it a little to fit me as well as the FB status field.  Here is my version of this......

"To all the heartbroken women out there who have traded romantic nights with their husbands for costly inseminations, designer bags for a bathroom full of medicine, healthy bodies for headaches & hot flashes, their privacy for a chance at adoption, & wouldn’t change a thing. Woman who don’t care about what they gave up & instead PRAY and HOPE for a chance at MOTHERHOOD! Post THIS if you’d do anything to be a MOTHER!"

Catching up

So much has happened since I blogged last.  Right after Mother's Day my friend Robyn, who was battling breast cancer, lost her battle.  She is now an angel watching over us all.  Her funeral was sereal.  Her babies and hubby miss her and her mom is lost without her.  I can't imagine what they are all going through.  I pray for this family each day.  I pray that a cure is found so that someday those little girls won't have to worry that they might suffer the same fate as their mom.  Little MM and MC may the Lord watch over you and proctect you both!

In June my DH and I made our big move to Florida, compliments of the United States Air Force.  Florida is nice and besides the drama that we have had surround our purchase of a home, we are liking the area.  I will be glad when we are finally through with closing on the house so I can paint and make it ours.  It just doesn't feel like home yet, but it will.  I know it will.

As far as the TTCing goes. We are on a break because of the move.  I turned 38 last month and I guess it really hit me that I really am running out of time.  Especially after my 20th High School Class Reunion this summer also.  So I am taking the next step on this journey....a big on for me.  I made an appointment with the HAWC...the Health and Wellness Center.  I met with an Exercise Physiologist.  She asked me why I wanted the help in losing weight and I told her because more than anything I want to be a mom and to reach that goal I have to lose weight.  She gave me a prescription for 30 minutes of exercise a day for the next 3 weeks.  I am to start off exercising 10 mins 3 times a day.  If that is to easy then I do it 2 times a day for 15 mins each, then move on to 30 mins once a day.  I also went in for a BodPod assessment.  If you have never had this done then look it up.  It is really cool.  It took less than a minute.  They were able to tell me what percentage of my body is fat and what my resting metabolic rate is.  Let's just say...I have a long way to go, but I'm going to start with small goals at a time.  So my first goal is 10% of my body weight.  So I will keep my progress posted.

So that is where I am right now. A new city, a new house, looking for a new doc and starting a new journey with my weight loss.  I'm looking forward to what the future holds for the first time in a very long time!