Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Where is Time Going and When Will it be My TIme?

So this past July I had my 20th High School Class Reunion.  There are several of us in my class who do not have children yet.  However, having only been out of school 20 years, we also already have classmates who are Grandparents!  Which brings me to what I am writing about tonight. 

I saw on Facebook tonight where another of my classmates is going to be a grandmother as of today.  3 hours ago she was still at the hospital waiting for news of the birth of her grandson.  This wouldn't have bothered me much except that she and I were born 3 days apart.  Her and her mother were released from the hospital the afternoon on the day I was born, so technically she and I were in the nursery together for a few short hours.  I know this may sound weird but it just makes me feel like I am totally missing out on something here.  She is the same age as I and her child is already making her a grandmother. Now granted we are only 38, and I think her daughter is only 18 but still....I just can't seem to wrap my head around the thought that If I have a child, it will be younger than the grandchild of my classmate who is the same age!  Why am I made to wait to be a mom when others around me are becoming grandmothers?  Why am I made to wait to be a mom when there are others around me who don't take care of the kids they have or really want the kids they have, yet they keep having them?!?!?!  I just want to know why? When will it be MY TIME?

UGG...I just hate all this waiting and not knowing.  I have just really been having some bad days lately.  AF decided to finally show.  I was starting to get a little hopeful since I was a week late but I think stress is what caused that delay.  I have been in so much pain the past couple of days.  My cramps are getting so much worse with my cycles.  I have never had this much trouble before.  I am definitely going to say something to the doc next time I go in.  I'm thinking that maybe they need to check me for Endo, since that has never been done. I just can't wait to finally get into my new doc so we can get started with everything again.  We have to or I am going to go insane...really!

Anyway, still plugging along with my healthy eating.  Haven't been walking this week due to the weather but I'm packing up the house getting ready for our move into our new house so that has to count for something.  Just as long as the scale shows a difference that is all that matters. 

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