Wednesday, June 1, 2011

How we ended up 21 weeks Pregnant

Let me start by saying that I never thought I would be writing a blog like this.  I thought I was destined to be childless forever, or at least childless meaning "not of my body".  One way or the other I always knew I would be a mommy, but I truly had started coming to the realization that it might be through adoption. So for this to truly be happening is surreal!  So here goes Part 1 of how we ended up expecting again so quickly after our miscarriage....and I promise there will be no x-rated parts!

When I miscarried in December I was completely devastated.  Not only was finding out I was pregnant a shock after so many years of trying with medical help but just as it was finally sinking in my worst fear came to be....I lost the child I was carrying, my first child.  After the first few weeks of mourning and being sad I started looking for some support locally to help me through what I was feeling.  DH did not understand what I was going through and even though I have friends that had experienced a loss I needed someone to talk to.  In the course of trying to find a support group I was put in contact with someone from our base.  There is a program for new parents and the nurses actually follow you through pregnancy and then up until your child is 3 years old.  I was told that even though my pregnancy had ended that they were still there for me and the nurse made an appointment to come out to visit me in early January.

Nurse E was very caring and listened to my concerns about needing someone to talk to.  She even gave me some information regarding Miscarriage that no one had even given me to that point except for the Family and Airman Readiness Center when I stopped in and they got me in contact with her.  I explained to her that even the smallest bit of information about what was going on with my body would have been helpful weeks before when I was actually going through it all, physically.  On my own I had ordered several books on dealing with miscarriage to help me through this time but there was something still missing.  She suggested counseling or the support group that I was already looking for information on.  Both things I had already thought of and was in the process of getting started.

Before she left Nurse E made a comment, and to this day I will forever be in her debt for telling me this.  DISCLAIMER: Please do not take this as something that everyone should do, however based on my history she, as a nurse felt comfortable telling me this.  Nurse E asked me how long the clinic told me we needed to wait before trying to conceive again.  I told her that they had said we could resume relations after 2 or 3 weeks but needed to wait for at least 3 months before actively TTCing, so my body had time to heal.  She then proceeded to share with me that based on how far along I was when I miscarried, my history of infertility issues and my age that we shouldn't wait the 3 months they told us to.  She said that my body didn't have much healing to do because I wasn't very far along and that I would be most fertile right after my miscarriage.  Even the information she gave me on miscarriage said the same thing. 

When my DH came home I told him about the conversation with Nurse E.  We talked about it and agreed that if it happened it was meant to be, if it didn't we would continue on as we had before, working with a fertility doc.  In the coming weeks I started the process with the clinic to get our referral to the Fertility doc I wanted to work with in the area and my DH and I resumed physical relations, not preventing but not actively trying.  I also started going to therapy.

At one of my therapy appointments at the end of January, I was discussing with my Counselor that I still had not had a cycle since my miscarriage approximately 6 weeks prior.  We discussed how that made me feel and she suggested that I take a home pregnancy test and then call my doctor afterward and talk with them about what to do to get my cycles going again.  This way at least I would know where I stood where my body was concerned.  I went home totally not expecting a positive pregnancy test. 

When I got home I POAS and then left it in the bathroom and went to do something else.  I went back a little while later and got the shock of my life!  There on the EPT was a very faint but very clear + sign!  I started freaking out.  I grabbed a digital and dipped it in and then began the agonizing wait to see what it would say.  It confirmed what the first one had shown.  I was pregnant!  I called my mom in hysterics.  After calming down some I tried to call my DH but he was in the classroom teaching and I couldn't reach him.  I sent him a text and waited for him to call me back. 

While I was waiting I went through all the possible reasons the tests could have come out positive.  One was that the pregnancy hormone from the miscarriage was still lingering but I knew that wasn't right because I had done betas for 2 weeks after the miscarriage until it had gone down to zero. Then I started thinking about when we had "done it".  Being the infertility guru that I am, I had kept up with everything for 5 1/2 years, especially when we BD'd even when we weren't doing a medicated cycle and of course this time I hadn't written a damn thing down!  WHAT?  I couldn't believe it!  From my calculations however, if I was really pregnant I wasn't even what would be considered 14dpo. I was barely pregnant, if there really is such a thing!

After talking with my DH and the shock wore off...well kinda.  We knew based on the previous pregnancy that I was going to have to go in immediately so that I could get put on Progesterone.  So I called the clinic the next morning and I began the process of getting into see the OB at the big base.  My mom drove over and went with me that day because DH was once again in the classroom and couldn't get out of it.  I went and had the blood test done at the little base and then headed to the big base, which I knew would be the next step.

Once the pregnancy was confirmed I went to the OB clinic at the big base and began the paperwork.  Boy was the one nurse surprised to see me so quickly.  She said she felt like the test might be a false positive and that she thought it was just left over hormones from the miscarriage.  I reminded her that I had tested down to zero on that.  She agreed that yes I had.  She filled me in on what I needed to do next.  I requested that they check my progesterone and that in the mean time I would like a script for Progesterone.  She went to talk to the doc about it.  When she came back she told me that the Doc said they could have the results in 2 days and once it was back he would write the script if my blood work warranted it.  I reminded her that my Progesterone was low last time and was what likely was the cause of my miscarriage.  She said that two days wouldn't make a difference cause I was probably so early in the pregnancy.  I felt at that point that if she didn't think 2 days would hurt that I could wait 2 days.

So I headed down to the lab, where they proceeded to tell me it would be a week to 10 days before they got the results.  I knew at that point that I had to do something.  Since I promised my DH I wouldn't do anything to get him in trouble, I decided to go to the patient advocate.  I explained to the PA exactly why I was there to see her and that I was not leaving the clinic until I had a script.  I told her I was not going to jeopardize my unborn child's life, yet again, just because they don't have my history in hand regarding my low progesterone, and that my miscarriage 6 weeks earlier and the results of the Progesterone test from then should be proof enough.  She agreed and began the process of getting me what I needed.  I left the clinic that day with a script in hand and even though I had a nurse really ticked off at me, I got what I needed regardless of others feelings. 

As a backup plan however, I had called my infertility doc in B'ham and asked if they could help me out.  The next day I received a call back that they were calling me in a script for Endometrin and that it would last through the first trimester.  Thank God for them because if they hadn't come through I would have had to wait at the whim of the doc on base!  At this point the next hurdle was determining exactly when I was due.  Until they could determine that for sure they went of my miscarriage date.

The rest of the story to catch you up to week 21 is to follow in a timeline of sorts and info on all my doc appointments......including pics.  Happy reading!

1 comment:

danielle said...

I'm so happy to read your entire story! It sounds exactly like mine! However, my dr did tell me to "be careful" for 6 weeks after my miscarriage. We weren't so careful, but I never thought about it. But, like you...I never had a cycle after my miscarriage. Can we say miracle baby?!