Friday, December 31, 2010

Results from the lab...It is offical

So I called this morning to get the result from my lab work I had done yesterday.  My HCG levels, as the nurse put it, "Dropped like a rock".  It was 368 last week (or something like that...can't remember, I have slept since then) and yesterday it was a whopping 3.15! Since the goal is for that number to be below 5 then we have reached that goal.  So the nurse said I officially don't have the pregnancy hormone left in me. I asked if I needed to be seen by a doc or what were the chances of having to have a DNC and she told me based on the numbers that it looks like I have passed everything, that there is nothing of the baby left and if there this my body will just absorb it.  I don't have to go in for a physical exam and no more blood work. I am done with them for now.  They will cancel my OB orientation and my first OB appointment that I had scheduled and she said she hoped to see me again soon and wished us luck.  And that was that.  I am "officially" no longer a Mommy-to-be.

I just find it crazy that I don't have to do anything else, and here just a little over a week after miscarrying my child there is nothing left of that horrible experience even happening because I am no longer even bleeding. It is like I just had a long cycle. Except for my positive home pregnancy tests and they memory of the few days I knew I was pregnant, there is nothing left of this pregnancy. Like it never happened.  If I had never tested two weeks ago I would have just thought I was having a really bad cycle that was lasting a while. 

I have had a couple of cycles in the past that were very similar to this "miscarriage" so it makes me wonder if I have miscarried before and never knew it.  I didn't always test because after a while you really get tired of POAS and seeing a BFN! So most of the time when a cycle ran long I didn't think anything of it.  But now I wonder.  I guess I will never know.  The main thing is we can start trying again in two months, which seems like forever to me since I am 38 and have been trying for so long with no results until now.  It makes me want to rebel and try sooner, but I will try to be a good girl and follow directions.  Guess we will need to go and invest in some "protection".  Yippee!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'm so very sorry for all you're going through.